Growing Up
June 2022
A 5 minute power nap/prayer goes a long way
“Look at my new haircut”
My aunt smiled as she pointed to her slightly frizzled and permed hair.
From founding a nonprofit organization, to caring for her two daughters, and following nightly yoga tutorials, my aunt is young and vibrant—
a source of never-ending passion and energy.
Since the earliest fragments of my memory, my aunt has always known how to keep herself active and busy.
Admittedly, the biggest change in her appearance was her new hairdo.
Her hair wasn’t tied back in the usual ponytail, but it was set free: flowing down and laying loosely around her shoulders.
Yet the biggest change I noticed wasn’t what she was drawing attention to.
Around the outer corners of her eyes were imprints that I had never noticed before.
Time had left its footprint in the fine lines it painted around her eyes.
My aunt isn't completely the same young and vibrant person I knew.
My aunt is getting older.
Aunt is still young at heart
—
Grandpa loves his grandchildren
Almost every summer, my family tries to visit our grandparents in Korea.
In the grand scheme of things, one year really isn’t that long of a time.
But the span of a year has fragmented my memory of my grandparents.
I wish I could see them dancing under the snow of the cold winter months or sneezing because of the fuzzy pollen of the warm springtime.
But my memory of them is limited only to the small glimpses of our time spent together in the summer.
Yet even in these small fragments of time, there’s a lot of change.
Six summers ago, my grandpa took me and my brother out for a hike in the mountains.
Four summers ago, he took us out to the movies.
Two summers ago, he took us out for a walk in the neighborhood.
But this summer, my grandpa apologized for not being able to go out with us anymore.
My grandpa is getting older.
It's okay, grandpa.
—
A swaggy and cool instagram-worthy picture
Until I was in about third grade, I hated my cousins.
Christine and Eunice were just so annoying, but maybe that was because I saw them as more than just relatives you meet at family reunions.
They were the younger sisters that I had always wanted. And what siblings don’t hate each other? (at least on the outside).
They even used to call me oppa (older brother in Korean) but now they just call me James :((
Even though we only see each other once or twice per year, we’ve kept close with each other and I look forward to each life update they give me:
The time Eunice won her school spelling bee, the first time a guy asked Christine out, the second time a guy asked Christine out, and most recently, baby Eunice getting ready for her freshman year of college.
Every time they share something new and exciting, I’m happy for them, but it also stings a little inside.
I’m coming to terms with the fact that my baby cousins are no longer babies.
They’re not afraid to share their own thoughts and feelings, even when it conflicts with mine, and I admire the lengths they go to pursue their passions and vocations.
My sisters are getting older.
A less swaggy and cool instagram-worthy picture
—
Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I only really had one thing in mind.
I wanted to be someone other people could look up to. Someone that could provide for the people they care about.
But that was always for later. I’d work towards these things when I finally grew up.
Yet as I see the changes in the people around me, I realize that each moment I spend in the present makes small progress towards the overall process of growing up.
The things I choose to do now and the seeds I sow now are bound to contribute to the person I’ll be when I finally grow up.
I’m slowly realizing how much more intentional and diligent I can be with the time that I’m given in these fleeting moments of my day-to-day life.
I need to start organizing my to-do list and start setting my priorities straight.
Because tomorrow, a month later, or even 5 years later, I want to be proud of the way I invested my time and efforts— proud of the way I grew up.
And I’m glad I realized this sooner than later. Because after all,
I’m getting older too.
Puberty.
- James Kim
